There are negative experiences connected to my (new) favorite photo series from London.
I just found out that it’s really “in” to mouth off about somebody or something in posts. About one year ago this collective sigh was camouflaged as “sunday post” (or any other day of the week you’d like to choose). Today this ruthless nagging isn’t even reduced to one day per week.
Well, now there could be one or two missunderstandings while reading this post title. I am in fact annoyed by my blogger-mates not by the phenomenon called “blogger”. Cause while I was rolling my eyes in ever 5th picture during my early days of blogging, because some passerby thaught to be funny by jumping into the picture, I now note blogger-mates going on my nerves and spreading hate more and more frequently.
During this shooting there were other bloggers fotobombing my pictures and being super annoying until my photographer took pictures of THEM first. Things like “I was at this location first”, “Wait until it’s your turn” or simply “Bring your own photographer?” don’t seem to exist nowadays.
And there also were bloggers who diligently liked all of my pictures and acted all coated in sweet sugar in the public eye, only to send me hateful messages and casually telling me to stop posting my garbage photos and polluting their feed or groups etc…
Cases a la “May I borrow your photographer WHILE YOU’RE WORKING?” leave me absolutly speachless. I mean sure, my photographer is standing there right beside us only like one meter away, but who considers photographers living indiviuals anyway in this time and age? They’re only extensions of our arms to release the shutter in the right moment. And sincce we already stripped him off any value why not exposing and telling him how shitty his work is while everyone’s watching?
But hey he’s still good enough to take another 3284627384628 pictures.
Or the good, old “I’m not telling you to keep you from having any advantages”-game.
So I sit in front of my laptop wondering, followed by hearty laughter, but mostly wodering.
Haters are some kind of a parallel society.
There are always those little humans sitting at their pc’s, slamming the keys to let me have it – but like REALLY have it!
But that doesn’t always work.
So today is all about the hater-101!
Where would we be if we stopped faithfully bashing strangers and fellows without any reason?
1. Strictly persist on your opion
It’s your duty to shove your opinion inevitably into your oject of hate’s face. Activate every alarm to make youre not to miss anything. One day they will notice and appreciate that you spared neither trouble nor expense to do so. Doesn’t matter if your opinion is absolute crap or not, it’s only important that you insist on being right no matter what.
2. Wrap your hate well
Basically it’s “the end justifies the means.” Your opinion is impotant. Spelling-, grammar- or similar mistakes will be overlooked indulgently. Primarily the content is what counts, not how awefully you wrapped it up.
But here’s my tip – don’t make it look like it’s hate. It’s easier as you may think – jut put a #nohate at the end.
To give a correct example of what I mentioned before:
“Stop uploading your shitty pictures they’re staining my feed. Don’t you have a realy life or why is your contant that crappy? #nohate“
3. I’ve got more likes… erm… I meant arguments
multiplication and division first, then addition and subtraction, left yields to right… we need our rules. On the internet, too.
online there’s still this goodd old barker-manner. who’s barking the loudest, whos’s opinios is most important. or in our case: who’s ggot more likes has got more arguments.
But wait… isn’t it possible to buy likes and followers nowadays? Doesn’t matter… I’ll always have twice as many as you have.
Like Descartes said: I’m fame therefore I am…. or something like that…
4. You were asking for it
My favorite point. I always wonder how often my mom (she’s a pre-school teacher) gets her hands cut out of ill will by some snotty brat who’s defending himself with phrases like: “You decided to be a pre-school teacher, so you pratically asked for it when a child cuts you.”
Sure, I’m in the public eye so it’s only natural that people are making fun of my private life, gossip about my hair or my physique, or pigeonhole me in general and treat me accordingly.
I’m even asking for it.
5. Time is relative
Being a faithful hater is more than just a hobby, it’s a determination that unfortunately consumes a lot of time. but surely you don’t consider yourself to good for making the internet a better place by being #fashionpolice or a #grammarnazi. But there is a certain code of behaviour. Work thoroughly! Go through every instagram picture and dig up every blog post. Where would it lead to if we ever neglected this thoughtfulness?
Who would be the one to point out someone got fatter in the comment section of their latest photo?
And don’t forget – Insults are essentiell!
6. yours is mine but mine isn’t nessecarily yours
…or the thing about photos, location tips, recommendations and so on.
It’s your duty as a reasonnable hater to hold back any information that appears to be of any use, but to take anything you can get from others in return. So it’s totally understandable to act all indignant if somebody gives you vicious answers. Like come on?! YOU are the one and only hater here, so your counterpart should take your shit and be greatful for your criticism.
You’re on the save side if you hate anonymously. I mean I got mobbed by George Clooney and I go out on a limb to assume Hollywood’s actor isn’t down on me.
With these hints and tricks you’re going to become the ultimate hater and impose law and order on the internet.
I hope you got that you need to read this post with a good portion of irony that you unfortunatly need in daily life, too. But laughter is still the best medicine and so I hope I wrapped up a trend topic in humour that I’m often confronted in my own life and that gets you down on so many blogs.
At the end of the day it’s all not that bad as a negative commenter my thinks. 😉