All blogs post the same… good, that I am no blogger.
Well, I have a blog – and Instagram. And yes, I mention it like once or twice in any conversation. Perhaps I choose the most instagrammable food when I order something at a restaurant, and I might be guilty of arranging the table set up to match the aesthetic. Okay, I’ve moved entire tables every now and then – to an entirely different restaurant – at the other end of the city – because the table cloth fits the wall color. And yeeaaah, I might have brought along my own food – disgusting to taste, but fantastic to look at. Because lets be real, a messy, greasy kebap probably doesn’t get me to a thousand likes.
But to make things clear, You Only Live Online.
I’m living so online, that my latest Instagram post looks more similar to the 23485930572 other #fashionistas and #influencers, than my own reflection in the mirror. I’m living so online, that I double tap the beautiful sweater of the next to me on the train, waiting for the tags to pop up and buy it right ahead. I’m living so online, that a voice in my head started developing, correcting myself that “that’s pronounced bal-en-si-AA-guh (Balenciaga)”. I’m so online that I get upset and disappointed when I meet somebody in #reallife and he actually looks like he does in his profile picture. I am so online that I love children so much – until I push them aside to get them out of my shot. I am so online that I only mention something meaningful, if I announced it with #realtalk. I’m living so online that I proudly wear the color of my generation of Millennials. It’s Millennial Pink and if you didn’t know this – somebody show me the door ‘cause I’d like to leave. Or in my time – the “X” in the right corner. I am so online that I’m scared of warning waves, though I’d volunteer to become an unpaid, walking ad pillar and free billboard #notsponsored. I am so Facebook that I have three thousand friends, but celebrate my birthday with no more than two. Me and that annoying voice trying to break the ice with: “it’s pronounced LOO-iVWEE-ton” (Louis Vuitton).
I am so online, I (don’t) have a #restingbitchface, because I have emojis. The only thing I admire of reality is it’s high definition, resolution and color depth. Nice graphic card universe, gotta hand it to you. Will Instagram get that upgrade soon or…? I am so snapchat, that sometimes when I wake up I panic and look for my dog ears. I am so online that I don’t tape my webcam. I need the stage, I need the audience – even if it’s just a FBI guy.
All blogs post the same stuff – good god I’m happy that I’m different. That’s why here are some beautiful pictures in front of cherry trees. And guys – you can’t imagine how exhausting it was to photoshop the other bloggers out of them.